The little one on the right, the one who is trying to get up out of that chair and make a run for it? My sister Arlene.
Don't let that fool you though. For years she tried to keep up with me. Followed in my footsteps, wanted to be with me, to play with me and my friends, to tag along, to be included in my world. At times I think she wanted to be me. For much of that time I hurried to get away. Older sisters do that. We have our own lives, our own friends, our own world. Most certainly I played with her and included her, but there were times when I remember saying to our mother as Arlene would be getting up from her nap, "please, please, please just keep her in for a little longer." Try as she might, that little bull (she was all Taurus) would come charging out the door yelling "She She, where are you?"
She's been gone 10 years today. Maybe yesterday if I'm honest. I don't know exactly what time she died, but I know I couldn't reach her on the phone on the 24th and found her on the 25th. It's hard to imagine these 10 years without her as part of my life. What I'd give to have her squeezing her way in, to not be left behind or left out. I wish I'd shown her more love and understanding when we were children. Our childhood was so mixed up and troubled and it is only in retrospect that I've learned just how much so.
I've long made my peace with our childhood, our lives and her absence. But there is no doubt that I miss her every single day.
34 comments:
Sherry, I am so sorry. Beautiful song and lovely tribute to your little sister...I cannot even begin to imagine. All my love to you, Deb
So poignant Sherry. I am shedding a tear for you. (And I won't listen to that song. Too many emotions it brings up).
I just spent a weekend, a first of many we hope, with my sister and my niece and my daughter. We need to relish in the times together and I realize that we haven't done that enough. Your post makes me give thanks for all the times I have with my sister, even the times I tried to get away from her and be my own older sister self.
Thank you for reminding us to live in the moment and celebrate those around us.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
So sad but a lovely tribute. Thanks for reminding us to cherish what we have and be in the moment. Hugs.
So beautifully written and so transparent for us all. Oh, how I appreciate it when you share these parts of you with us.
well, you just reached into my birdcage and plucked a wee piece of my heart. feathers fall like red droplets.
What a sad and beautiful tribute! Your sister lives on in your memories of her. Sharing your story helps remind all of us to treasure our family moments together. Thank you.
What a sweet picture of the two of you. She is remembered with alot of love and affection.
xox
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I am sure she felt your love when you were children Sherry, and I am sure she did as you grew up too :)
Hugs, Lynn
I'm sure there were plenty of times when you did let her tag along. No matter how much little sisters can get in the way, they just seemingly know that they are loved and I'm sure that Arlene knew that she was by her big sister.
You both were adorable. I can see Arlene being one that got into all kinds of mischief.
Beautifully and eloquently written; I am holding both of you in my heart today.
Thinking of you and your heart full of siter love today.
Love you !
Oh my! This post certainly makes me cry. I know you must have gone through so much. My heart goes out to you...and I hope you can get through this. Missing someone you love is the hardest.
She is always with you in memories and spirit.
Hugs,
C.
Thinking of you as you miss your sister and sending hugs...
Oh Sherry it's just heart wrenching! I feel so bad for you missing your sister...I suppose missing her is something you have grown to live with. My husband lost his father this past August and there are still many days I find him crying...even sobbing...losing a loved one is such a hard thing. My heart goes out to you ~
Many blessings,
T
oh honey, i can't imagine. i'm so sorry for your loss
Across the miles always know that arms are around you even if its virtually...
I thought it an off chance that you would post today, I knew you were on a break. I popped in wondering if you would.
I feel for you Sherry. I cannot empathize but I can feel deep sadness for you for your loss. There is absolutely no one who can replace her.
xoxoxo (I believe in grieving. For as long as it takes.)
Such a beautiful tribute, Sherry... In tears here... I am lucky my sister is still with me. How sorry I am for your loss, that you have been without your dear sister for so long... Thinking of you and sending ((LOVE & BIG HUGS))
As a younger sisiter whose older sister often said, "Why are you always following me around?", I can assure you it was ok.
She loved you, wanted to be with you, understood that you needed time with your own friends, but wanted to be there just in case, this time, you called her name.
So don't feel bad, my cyber friend. Feel good about your love for her--then and now.
"She, She, where are you?" Perfect.
This is such a lovely tribute to Arlene, the lives you shared together, and the pain of losing her. It is wonderful that you have found peace in all of the pain.
I wish you continued peace and comfort for the journey.
Sherry, I admire VERY much your courage to carry on - for yourself AND for those you love (noticed your son's comment). While I can imagine what it must feel like, I am certain I have only the tiniest little inkling.
While I sit here muttering about my teen daughter who left for school some 2 hours ago, I will try to remember what you have shared. I will try to recognize her beauty and charm, "her heart which {can also be} big as gold".
Thank you. xo
Oh, Sherry, I was so sorry to read about your sister and how much you miss her! I am sure you miss her every day!! And yet she lives on in you and through you! Thank you for sharing this with us! Love, Silke
oh my dear..i'm so so sorry for your loss, it never does get easier does it? 10years...20years...the love never dies and the memories keep them alive...
hugs <3
mari
I love that song Sherry.
As I read your story, I can identify with Arlene. I ran after my sister, as she tried to get away. We are friends today, and what we did as children is now the past.
However, I do have a younger sister, who is not at peace with me. I rarely see her, and wish we could be close. Maybe someday....God willing.....
(I am so sorry for your loss....)
One of the strongest bonds is between siblings. So much happiness and pain to share. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be the one to find her. I hope somewhere within you, that you have a sense of peace.
Just one more thing we share, I lost my older sister 8 years ago to cancer. We were a year and a half apart in age and I miss her so much. I am so sorry, I think I know how you feel.
What a beautiful song. I always think of my Daddy when I hear it and wished I had one more day with him as you do your sister.
All my love to you dear friend.
LuLu~*xoxo
tears!!! what a loving and beautiful tribute. sending you a big HUG and lots of love.
xo
What a lovely tribute to your younger sister. I can't imagine losing a sister. I do have a younger sister and she too always lagged after me.
Reading your post made me realize I am already missing my sister as we are estranged. I must make the effort to bridge the gap - you never know what time you have together. thanks for the wakeup call.
as i read this, i felt your sister in my heart. how kind of you, to gift us, with memories of her.
x
What a beautiful tribute to your sister. My sister has been gone for seven years. She was six years older, so I was always following her. When we were adults, we were best friends. Losing her rocked my world more than I ever knew it would. So far, I haven't been able to write much about it--thank you for expressing my thoughts and feelings so well.
What a cute little girl you were!!
Hugs to you.
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