My Part of the Wreck This Journal Exchange

It's Friday and I feel like it's meant to be frivolous and not deeply meaningful. Then again, I think frivolous can be deeply meaningful....

I'll share today what I sent to Dawn in our exchange for Wreck This Journal. I made this card to include a note for Dawn and thought this Shel Silverstein quote was perfect for what WTJ is all about.


I decided to send Dawn the page with my hand print because it was a "part" of me and not just something that I doodled or created. I first traced my hand onto the page and then painted the hand with Americana acrylic paint in Sea Breeze and pressed it into the outline. Ooey gooey messy fun! I added a few lines when it was dry and a little heart into the centre that didn't "take" the paint on the page. My heart line and my life line.



I completed Dawn's doodle...in my own inimitable style...and thought this was the only way really...the bottom and the top work so beautifully together!!


Posh has never looked more "posh"... and in reality I'm sure this is what her feet must look like after hours and days and months and years in those shoes she wears..............I call her "P. Posh" - Post Menopausal Posh!

What I Am Learning

Learning new things through reading, exploring ideas and experiencing life doesn't happen overnight. There is the learning process and then there is the point you reach when what you have learned has "become" part of who you are. You move beyond "I have learned" to "I know".

I didn't enjoy the learning experience when I was a student in a classroom in any way compared to the joy I feel at learning and absorbing and knowing at this point in my life. There was no "urgency" to learn when I was younger. I had time stretching ahead of me but more importantly it seemed to me that learning was being imposed upon me. What I want to learn, know and do now is my choice, my mission, my goal.

This is something that I need to remember with regard to others. We don't all learn the same way, at the same pace, in the same time. I'm still learning this lesson, soon to reach the "knowing" stage I believe. What are you learning?

*image found on google from santa ana college

Artist Swap for Wreck This Journal

I'm still working away at wrecking the journal I have from Keri Smith. When the mood strikes or I see the book and feel motivated I pick it up, flip a few pages and do whatever the prompt tells me to do (unusual for moi who does NOT like to be told what to do!).

A few weeks ago, Dawn Rice at Artist Reborne was talking about the above page and rather than just giving her favourite page to someone she thought it would be fun to swap favourite pages with others who are doing the Wreck This Journal challenge. I agreed and we swapped addresses so we could make this part of the process a little more interesting and a whole lot more fun.

My envelope from Dawn arrived the other day --







This is the page I told Dawn I had liked the most (from what she had already shared on her blog)...the big holes at the top are from where Dawn took a drill to the book ...



Also included was a copy of this zine created by Robin Olson Mayberry of Alchemy Studio in which Dawn has an article and some of her art work. It's lovely and I've thoroughly enjoyed it.



I'll share what I've sent on it's way to Ohio in a few days!

Patti's Paper Quilt

It has been SO long since I spent any time being creative, using papers, images, glue...doing anything remotely "fun" with my hands. I did something about that on Sunday afternoon.

Patti Digh had put out a request for people to participate in a paper quilt she is creating for her milestone birthday and I really wanted to do that. I loved Patti's book Life is a Verb and enjoy following her on twitter and through her blog. Knowing that I wanted to participate and actually doing something to participate are two different things. With a deadline looming I knew I had to get myself in gear.

While reading Paula's blog the other day, she made a comment that just touching her materials can be enough to spark her creative energy and begin the process of "doing" vs. "thinking about doing". And that's what I did on Sunday. I didn't gather a lot of things together, I simply touched my papers that were close to hand, I sifted through images that were close to hand, grabbed the glue and scissors and let my hands take me where they wanted to go. I wasn't delirious and jumping up and down and aching to get back to "making", but I was satisfied when I was finished.

I popped this in the mail on Monday and it's now winging it's way to Patti in Asheville, North Carolina. A little bit of creativity can go a very long way.

*edited to add at 8:15 a.m. after Deidra's question...once Patti has compiled the quilt and posted it on her blog, I will most definitely share the finished project here!

A Sense of Peace and Joy...

As you know, my reading taste is eclectic, which to me means that I will read a wide variety of material on a wide variety of subject matter. I'm especially pleased when I read something that is out of my general area of interest and discover something new to me and open doors that might otherwise have stayed closed.

Biography and non-fiction are as interesting to me as fiction and when I read about the lives and experiences of others I'm inspired and sometimes feel an affinity or a communal appreciation for the intricacies and unexpectedness of life.

I don't have diabetes, however, it does run in my family so with that predisposition and some of the drugs I have had to take in the past that could lead to diabetes, there is always the possibility that this could crop up in my future. I learned years ago that there is no "cap" on the number of things that can happen or go wrong in life. At one time I thought there must be some sort of ledger where you would reach a quota of illnesses or diseases or unhappy occurrences. Naive yes, but it was something to hold on to. But that's not why I read this book written by Mary Tyler Moore. I was just curious. And one disease is in the most important way no different than any other disease. The common denominator is that they change your life. They alter your way of being.

What impacted me the most about Mary's story on managing her diabetes was how she had to come to accept the fact that she was indeed a diabetic. That she did need to monitor what she ate and when. She did need to test her blood sugars. She could not pretend that this was not happening to her for when she did, the consequences would remind her in frightening ways. Yes, diabetes can be controlled with insulin and if properly managed can result in a long life. It is also true that some breast cancers, even some stage IV cancers are being treated now as chronic illness with drugs, in the same way that diabetes is managed. But that isn't what this book was about for me. It was about acceptance.

The moment when I accepted that I had breast cancer, the moment when I accepted the fact that this was always going to be part of who I am (remembering that it is only one small part of who I am and keeping that at the forefront at all times), the moment when I stopped fighting myself as if this was something I had earned or deserved or created for myself was when I knew peace. When I stopped railing against the fact that I had cancer, stopped seeing it as an obstacle that was bigger than me, I felt at home with myself in a way that I had never felt before the cancer began to grow. I felt a sense of control over something that I couldn't see. I stopped seeing it as the monster in the closet or under the bed and put it out into the open. Once you have acknowledged something as present and not just lurking, once you identify your "enemy", your "fear" it makes it easier to cope. It is what it is. Trite, but true.

Waiting to hear the results of my latest mammogram, it was a perfect time for me to read this book and to remind myself that we cannot control every single thing that is going to happen in our lives. We can only control how we choose to deal with it, accept it and move forward with it. I feel a sense of peace and calm this morning that floods me with joy. The sun being out only magnifies that feeling. I wish everyone this same sense of joy today.

After The Rain...

Heavy rain...days of rain...torrential downpours, one from yesterday that lasted 2 1/2 hours of steady, pelting rain. Thunder and lightning...neighbours with flooded basements and for some reason we were spared. The garden tells the tale...the anabelle hydrangea is beaten and battered with it's heads bent upside down (such delicate heads can't absorb the water). The coneflower and black eyed susans manage to keep their heads up. Both the flowers and I are looking for the sunshine.

That's The Way It Is...

I am still fighting this bug I picked up last weekend...no, that's not quite right...I'm not "fighting" it, I'm just allowing it to work it's way through my system. There are some illnesses and setbacks that require a "fight", this is not one of them. This one requires patience and pampering. It requires me to drink liquids and rest. It requires me to do what my body needs to do to restore itself. A low to non-existent immune system means bolstering where I can and being sensible. And trying not to let this miserable excuse for a summer dampen my spirits. This is simply a day for relaxing, flipping through magazines, napping and just letting the day unfold.

*image found on google from househunting.ca

Chinese Elements

In a previous post where I discussed "The Joy Luck Club", Bonnie had been talking about the quote from Amy Tan and wondering about wood and the various elements in Chinese tradition and lore. Not being Chinese I really didn't know...but the "joy" of the internet is that other readers often have the knowledge and the answers. The following is from Theresa, who left a comment on that post -- with my thanks!

I never read this book but saw the movie. That movie totally reminded me of growing up in a typical Chinese family (I am from Hong Kong). So totally relatible.

Wood is one of the 5 elements, others being metal, water, fire, earth. When you have too much of 1 or 2 elements, you'll want to balance it with others. I know my son has lots of water, so my fortune-teller told me he needs wood. I have too much earth (I'm very principle-oriented and need to bend), and I lack metal and water. OK, how you determine what you have or lack, depends on your birth year, month, date, and time. Trust me, I don't know how to look it up (you need an almanac) but that's what my fortune-teller told me. Sorry, can't be of more help. I know there are information out there, quite possibly only on Chinese websites. I do read Chinese, but it's quite a lengthy research.

Stop Thief!

Over the last week and a half I have read about three artists who have had their work stolen via the internet, plagiarized and used without permission. These works were not just "used" they were offered for sale on etsy as if the seller had created the pieces on their own.

When something like this happens, I sometimes give the "thief" the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the person didn't realize that they were infringing on a copyright. Perhaps the person didn't realize that you don't post or use what someone else has created without their knowledge. I suppose this does happen from time to time. Maybe that's naive. The reality is that if you don't know by the time you reach adulthood that taking what someone else has created is wrong, that it is theft then you have lived in a cave. Taking anything that doesn't belong to you, that you didn't create is stealing, as much as taking something from a store, handing in something in writing that you've copied from someone else or breaking in to steal. Just because it is "there" on the internet, doesn't mean it's up for grabs.

While all the artists have expressed their anger and outrage, one artist decided that she wanted to do something positive about this. Marsha Jorgensen created the above badge and a flickr group to go with it. Marsha's idea is to generate awareness, to bring people together to say NO to theft and to make it a little more uncomfortable for others to help themselves. It may not be a perfect solution and it may not be a total deterrent but what I love is that Marsha has asked other artists for their input and suggestions, formed a group and is making this something concrete rather than just saying "to steal is wrong". Kudos to Marsha for this. When it happened to her, Marsha decided to see what she could do in order to prevent this from happening again.

If you wish to use the graphic for your own blog, you must link back to the flickr group. http://www.flickr.com/groups/stopartpiracycampaign

Angels Among Us

Sometimes when choosing a book to read I am influenced by the cover, or by the title. In this case it was a little of both. I believe in angels and I loved this little one with wings. Don't be mislead or fooled by the title. It's not violent in any way.

I don't know of a time when I didn't believe in angels. I believe in many things that I cannot see or have never seen for myself to prove that whatever "it" is actually exists. I have faith and I take much in life on faith. Too often wonderful things happen, or disaster is avoided and I wonder who it was around me that provided that. Who was the angel. They walk among us I'm sure of that. Never knowing who it is in our midst who might be that angel, I take care to treat others with kindness, to be aware of those around me.

I was enthralled with Keith Donohue's imaginative story of Norah and Margaret, Sean, Erica and Wiley, of love and trust, faith and belief. Of what can happen when you do believe, when you leave doubt at the door. When you pay attention to the signs and messages left in your path.

Ancient Chinese Wisdom

I love talking about books as I'm sure anyone who comes here often realizes. I love to discover what others are reading, what they have discovered and then dip my toes in the waters of those fresh new words and ideas.

A few weeks ago my friend Kim mentioned Amy Tan and she was quite surprised that I had never read anything she had written. I moved Amy Tan to the top of my "to be discovered" list, and started with "The Joy Luck Club". Which of course I loved.

So many aspects of this novel appealed to me and there were many times when I'd stop reading, put my finger in the book to hold my place, tip my head back and ponder the words, the meaning, the symbolism. Once again I realized that you don't have to be Chinese to understand the ancient wisdom. And yet again I heard these words in my head, as spoken to me by a very wise man not so very long ago, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

The following passage from the book made me smile. When I was much younger, I spent a good part of my life worrying about how others saw me. I wanted to please. I was "trained" to be a pleaser by my father. Perhaps that wasn't his true intention but that was the result. I was always trying to be the person someone else wanted me to be that my life became fragmented. I was pieces but I was not whole. Somewhere along the way I had lost myself. Confusion about who I was, what I was meant to be, what I wanted from life consumed me. I was blessed to meet people who helped me to put the pieces back together, I was blessed with cancer that taught me so very strongly the truth of life, to determine what matters and what does not. If only I had had this ancient Chinese wisdom so much sooner in my life. And yet, because I wasn't ready to "receive" it would never have registered. The widsom would have been poured into my cup and seeped out through unseen cracks. Thank you Kim for bringing Amy Tan into my world.

My mother once told me why I was so confused all the time. She said I was without wood. Born without wood so that I listened to too many people. She knew this, because once she had almost become this way.

“A girl is like a young tree,” she said. “You must stand tall and listen to your mother standing next to you. That is the only way to grow strong and straight. But if you bend to listen to other people, you will grow crooked and weak. You will fall to the ground with the first strong wind. And then you will be like a weed, growing wild in any direction, running along the ground until someone pulls you out and throws you away.”

Watch Where You Park Your Wiener

Feeling a little rough today. Not much of a "fun" weekend away for me. I did manage some retail therapy on Saturday and then late into Saturday night, the early hours of Sunday morning a stomach bug hit me like a mack truck. Every half hour I was into the bathroom, my poor stomach emptied three times over, even when it had nothing left to give. Much better today but this might just be a "pj" kind of day.

Looking at the news this morning I couldn't help but think when I saw this one....

"Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I'd really love to be....cuz if I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with me"

Yeah, not so much the guy whose house this Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into!! Don't they know -- hot dogs can't drive! You really need to pay attention to where you park your wiener. And now my stomach would really love it if I'd stop talking about wieners...blah!!!

Bathing With a Book..

I've been working on my "Wreck This Journal" when the mood strikes. On Wednesday morning I took up the challenge to bring the book into the shower with me (simply because it was the first time I'd actually remembered to bring the book into the bathroom!).



Hilarious...posing the book, taking the photos, watching the steam rise, but at the same time, trying not to get the book wet. I think part of the challenge was to let those droplets of water hit the book, but I drew the line at putting the book right into the tub with me as I showered. As I wrote in the book, I've taken a book to the bath many times (candles, a glass of wine, some bubbles, a good book = personal mini spa bliss), but I have never "bathed with" a book...and I suspect this is as close as it's going to get!

Julie & Julia

It's been a long time since I've looked forward to the opening of a movie....this one is IT. Of all the actresses I can think of to portray Julia Child, there is no one that comes close to Meryl Streep.

I hope it's as funny as it looks in the trailer!

http://www.julieandjulia.com/

Weekend Kick Off

Great start to the weekend. Today's schedule includes...

7:00 a.m. - shower, shave, dress (minus deodorant)

8:15 a.m. - leave house, head to hospital

8:40 a.m. - check in at diagnostic imaging

8:50 a.m. - undress, don blue hospital gown (latest in fashion), wear with opening to the front

8:55 a.m. - prepare to be squished, squeezed, mauled and mangled as I have these "mammies" "grammied".

9:15 a.m. - dress again (adding deodorant!), grab a coffee, remember to breathe again and head home.

Rest of the day --

Finish packing, hit the road for son's soccer tournament. While the boys and coaches are staying in the University dorms, I will be treating myself to a lovely hotel room (hotel with a pool!), dining out and enveloping myself in retail therapy.

The soccer? Oh yeah, I'm sure it will be great...3 games, I'll work the retail around the kick offs!!

*image found on google.com

Love, Life, History, Bitter and Sweet

Last week when I posted about the word bittersweet, Bonnie asked me why I had been thinking about that word and what prompted me to post about it. Aside from loving the word, I had just finished reading Jamie Ford's, "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" and of course, the word as one, not two words, kept reverberating in my consciousness.

Jamie Ford has created a wonderful story of love and hate. A story about two young people living in Seattle during World War II...he is Chinese, she is Japanese...but both are American, at a time when how you looked meant more than where you were born. The Japanese were being rounded up and sent inland to internment camps. Fear was running high after the bombing of Pearl Harbor at the hands of the Japanese. Fear is wrought from ignorance.

A Chinese person befriending, never mind loving a Japanese person was unacceptable at that time in history. Japan was at war with China before World War II. Perhaps it is better to say that Japan was decimating China in that war. Feelings were bitter and ran hard to the older generation. Imagine being a young boy who was being integrated into American life, American ways, told by his parents he must speak only "American" and not the family's native tongue, and had no ties to China other than those given to him by his parents. Imagine being a young boy breaking with tradition, because love is bigger than prejudice and hatred. Imagine doing that in a home where culture and tradition are more important than anything else.

This novel is about the experiences of a Chinese boy and a Japanese girl. It could happen in any culture, any race. Love does not discriminate.

Love sees only into a heart, into a soul, into a mind. Love does not see colour or the way that eyes slant, or do not. Love is not bitter, but a savoury delight. Love gives you strength and courage. It gives you wings of hope. Love allows you to be the whole of who you are and nothing less.

Always Remember This...

How UpLifting...

Checking In, Checking Up

It's that time of year, where the anxiety notches up just a little. I'm off this week for my annual mammogram. I've graduated from bi-annual to annual which shows me that I'm moving forward into life in the mainstream. A little anxiety around having the string unfurled a little longer and being followed less closely, a little like the child who knows she can now cross the street without supervision. But a feeling of being able to breathe even more deeply, knowing that I'm "growing up"! I don't think about breast cancer as often as I used to. I will always know that this is something that was part of my life's journey but it isn't part of my day to day living.

There will always be that small level of anxiety around having this mammogram. I've walked with cancer and this will always be part of who I am. Then there is the waiting between the mammogram and the visit with the surgeon to hear the results, review life and listen for those words that give me the all clear. No matter that I'm living life well, the reality always hits home a little harder that I really don't know what is going on inside my body. Are my cells behaving? Do they know who is boss? Have they remembered how fierce I am?

I've lowered the level of stress in my life to something almost non-existent. For someone like me who lived an "A" type life, who kept stress as a constant companion in her back pocket, in her purse, around her shoulders...I've done very well in eliminating that unnecessary beast of burden.

So it will be a lovely shave and no deodorant the day I go. The discomfort of the test (they really mangle and twist the one that had the lumpectomy...for which I'm grateful) is nothing compared to that little flip of anxiety.

If you haven't had a mammogram lately or done a breast self exam...please do. The life you save might be your own.

*photo originally uploaded to flickr by erinen31 January 2008

Macarons

Last May when I was in L.A. I made a special point to visit Paulette in Beverly Hills. I had always wanted to try a macaron from Laduree in France, but as that is a little too far to satisfy my desire for macarons, I knew I had to make the time to visit this beautiful shop.

These macarons are amazing and I was also lucky enough to meet Paulette as I was finishing my purchase. Bon Appetit!!

Bittersweet

Bittersweet.

I love the word.

I love the way it sounds.

I love the imagine it evokes.

Say it out loud. Bittersweet.

I love that it is one thing; and it is another thing.

I love that it can be chocolate. Or an emotion.

I love that it is a vine from the nightshade family.

I love how it rolls off my tongue.

According to Wikipedia, Bittersweet refers to a combination of the standard tastes of sweetness and bitterness, and is often used as a metaphor for experiences which have binary elements of happiness and sadness, or pleasure and pain.

I love this song by the Verve

This Little Tag of Mine..

Last week Maria tagged me with these questions. I admit, I'm not very good about answering these kind of questions. I'm not very imaginative or forthcoming. I tend to hold back or be a bit silly. But I'll give it a go.

What is your current obsession?

Discovering as much of my maternal grandmother’s background as I can.

What is your weirdest obsession?

My normal might be someone else’s weird. I don’t “do” weird.

What are you wearing today?

Black Capri pants, a green/black/purple top.

What makes you uniquely you?

Every thought I have, every line and wrinkle on my body

What would you eat for your last meal?

I wouldn’t have one. First of all, I hope that I never know when I’m going to “have” a last meal. If I was told it would be my last? Why bother?

What's the last thing you bought?

Unexciting groceries

What are you listening to right now?

Whatever is on the television…someone is watching in the other room

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

I like quite a few! Probably anything with nuts in it

What do you think of the person that tagged you?

She’s resourceful, eco conscious, bright and down to earth. I like her!

If you could have a house today totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

Somewhere near the Atlantic, so I could see the water right from my windows. Somewhere without snow in winter...I want warm!

Which language do you want to learn?

I'd like to be fluent in French. I'm good enough with it but I'd love to be perfectly fluidly fluent.

Who do you want to meet right now?

Someone I haven’t seen for quite a long time.

What is your favorite color?

I love red, but I’d say blue in all its many shades.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe?

nothing special at the moment

What is your favorite quote?

That’s a long list…and changes with my mood.

What is your dream job?

Designer

What is your favorite magazine?

I buy what looks interesting when I do, don’t subscribe to any. I prefer books.

If you had $100 dollars now what would you spend it on?

My children most likely.

Who is your favorite designer?

I like Ralph Lauren for simple, clean lines, I like Betsey Johnson for colour and "out there" whimsy, Michael Kors is good…I like whoever designs those amazing underpants from Target (Gilligan and/or O'Malley...lol!!), Michele Bohbot's Bisou Bisou ...

Describe your personal style?

I don’t think there’s a name for it. Casual and easy. Anything that can be worn casual for day and dressed up a little for evening. I love to take thrift finds, and remake them with other pieces.

What are you going to do after this?

I haven’t any idea.

What are your favorite movies?

Suspense, comedy, classics (haven't watched a movie in ages)

What's your favorite fruit?

Nectarines, cherries, berries

What inspires you?

Determination, spirit, colour, vitality, beauty

What music do you like this week?

Indigo Girls

What is something you know with every fiber of your being?

That one is my secret ... but I know what happens when I eat fibre

A word that describes who you are?

Optimistic

The rules:

1. Respond & rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.

2. Tag five other people. I'm not going to tag anyone for a few reasons. I might choose someone who dislikes doing these things. I might not choose someone who would love to. So I'm leaving it up to everyone else...if you would like to participate in this, please do and let me know if you do!