Life. Art. Possibilities.

I saw this video the other day on Dawn's blog and was simply amazed at the concept of this. Making the everyday into art, into something to be appreciated.

Art is everywhere. So are possibilities.

B.E.A.U.T.Y.

Thoughts of beauty have been floating through my mind these last few weeks. I've talked about the beauty in life and in the "things" around us that we find beautiful. I haven't talked about our own beauty and how we see ourselves.

Yesterday I was reading Brene Brown's blog and one of her posts discussed beauty. She shared three video clips that weren't just powerful...they were profound.

When I jumped over to Kim's wonderful blog the The Queen of Arts was talking about the same thing...beauty. It was one of Kim's usual excellent posts filled with deep thoughts and provoking questions. It's a must read.

This morning my friend Kathy sent me an email depicting female celebrities with and without make-up. The universe seemed to be telling me something.

I copied the before and after photo of Goldie Hawn because this one spoke to me so strongly. Mostly about age and beauty. I fully appreciate that Goldie Hawn has worked in and continues to be part of an industry that promotes and values beauty and youth in women. The entertainment industry demands that women maintain a facade of ageless beauty, almost at any cost. A dangerous message sent to young girls, not just young women, I'm talking about children. Who am I kidding...it sends a message to any and every female from 0 - 100.

That aside, it was refreshing to see Goldie Hawn "as she is". She's still a beautiful woman and as a woman who is gaining in years, it made me feel good to see her looking as she is and not how the industry wants us to see her (or she would like to be seen). There is beauty in age, in being able to count those wrinkles for all the reasons we have them. To see the extra weight and the soft curves and know why they are there. Some of us are no longer 20. Or even 30. Acceptance is part of beauty. Being yourself and being "real" are part of beauty.

Are you brave enough to say "I am beautiful exactly as I am."? Go to a mirror right now and say that. I dare you. Now go and post about it.

As Kim asked in her post, when did you last feel beautiful?

For My Friend...With Thanks ♥

A dear friend of mine has been going through the ending of her marriage. It's been an emotional few years of ups and downs, of legal battling and negotiating...and then re-negotiating. For every few steps forward, it seems things would then take more steps back. Ending a relationship of many decades is difficult. To be faced with constant changes takes it's toll emotionally and even physically.

When do you say "enough"? When do you decide that there is something better? That being forced to continually "fight" for what is yours, for your dignity and your worth is not worth the toll it takes emotionally and spiritually? We know our worth. If we don't we need to work at that. Sometimes our dignity lies in saying "I will no longer be party to this." There is freedom in walking away and laying down the gauntlet.

I learned a great deal from my friend this weekend. I learned that there is victory in making a decision and taking matters into your own hands. That there is a sense of peace and strength in saying "no more". I learned that who we are is sometimes much more important than having to be someone else because we have been forced into that slot. Squeezing a square peg into a round hole will never work, no matter how much we push and shove.

I learned that any time in life, no matter what the situation, being able to make a decision that works in our own best interest adds strength to our spirit and our character. I give huge hugs and a brava to my friend. For all that she is always saying how much I inspire her....I can only tell her I've been graced with inspiration in her spirit and her conviction. I wish her peace and hope and happiness and the joy of her continued journey of freedom.

*image wall of peace - Moscow originally uploaded to flickr by Jeff Bauche January 2008

Manic Monday...

The sun shines, the temperatures are rising to something unheard of for April...mother nature has become seriously confused...perhaps a little senile..up and down, rain, late snows, early summer....

Time to clean out my studio...put away a lot of things I'm no longer using. Oldest son writes his final exam for the year this morning and will be home for the summer (back and forth no doubt as he still has his apartment out of town) either later tonight or tomorrow and it would be nice if he had some space to put his things.

Heard this on the radio this morning and thought, "oh yes, this one seems perfect for today".. and of course I haven't been able to get it out of my head....

The Invitation...

A wonderful way to start a Sunday morning. I slept a little later than usual. I'm having good coffee and have been reading a good book. I'm on my second cup of coffee and now getting caught up with blog reading. I've had such a hectic, crazy week and a half that my usual routine went out the window (along with my old furnace). There is something about spring and renewal and the "busy-ness" that puts other things on hold...longer sometimes than I like.

I think this is a perfect "share" for a Sunday. Last night I was reading Lani Kent's blog Healing Expressions. Lani has shared her find from a book that was given to her by a friend. The book is called "The Invitation" and it is written by Oriah, who, as I discovered after going to her web page, lives here in Toronto.

Here is the beginning of this amazingly profound poem:

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

If you are interested in reading more of this poem, click on Lani's link to her blog, or this link to Oriah's site

Change of Pace...Change of Taste...

Last weekend while running errands, I went into Starbucks and ordered my "usual" Pike roast decaf. The barista who is quite a nice guy (older, friendly, eager to please), told me that the decaf had been sitting for awhile and he wouldn't be happy selling that to me. He suggested a decaf Americano instead which I was quite willing to agree to.

As the barista rang up the purchase he casually told me that he was still charging me for the Pike as it was his suggestion to give me something else. Company policy? Yes. "Good" company policy? Absolutely. Refreshing to hear? Yes.

The truth was in the coffee...amazing. The change of pace made me a convert. Had I not said "yes" to the replacement I might never have tried something I've discovered I enjoy.

Beautiful Friday

A trip on the GO train from downtown to home.

The sky a pale blue with clouds of different shapes filling the sky.

Looking out the window at the boats in the harbour, the crystal reflection off Lake Ontario.

Thinking about Toronto from days gone by; how much has changed and how much remains the same.

Skyscrapers and buildings of glass.

Progress some necessary, some at what cost?

A long walk home from the train station.

Listening to the birds in full song.

Seeing grass that is turning that beautiful almost emerald green.

Realizing with the burn in my lungs and the muscles of my legs...

that it really doesn't get much better than this.

*photo of Lake Ontario by concierge.com

Ode To Will...

While in the library yesterday, I noticed posters on the wall and an entire shelf dedicated to the birth of William Shakespeare. Not really being a fan of the bard, I realized that (a) I know very little about the man and (b) I've never enjoyed his works. Masterpieces though they may be, I never delighted in the Elizabethan language of how William wanted his works to be read and understood. Perhaps it's the fact that my grade 9 English teacher (my she rest in peace -- I just read of her passing in yesterday's newspaper..she was 88 and all along I thought she must have been near that age when she taught us -- it's amazing how we "see" things when we are children) read "The Merchant of Venice" to us ... amid the (I'm ashamed to say) snores of 25 delightful students.

I have been to the Stratford Festival here in Ontario and forced myself to stay in my seat to watch Shakespeare in the round (class trip) and I proudly watched my son (now a University English & History double major) perform the role of Friar Laurence in "Romeo and Juliet" in a modernized high school production a few years ago. He knows I didn't understand a word he was saying -- I could hear him perfectly. He lost me at "hello" (which of course sounded nothing like "hello").

I realize though, that much as I may not be a scholar of Mr. Shakespeare, I know many of the quotes he immortalized and made famous, the most important of which to me is "to thine own self be true".

Here's a modern tribute to you Mr. Shakespeare...born in late April and baptized April 23, 1564. This one I understand perfectly!

Coming In From the Cold...

That old expression "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" is so true.

Our furnace breathed it's last breath sometime over the past weekend. As it was mild and dare I say "warm" on Saturday we didn't really notice it. Didn't really notice it on Sunday morning either, but by Sunday evening it was evident that the brave thing had lived it's last. An almost 17 year life. I suppose that's good in "furnace years".

We give "birth" to a new furnace later today (it's a 5 hour labour, no epidural needed...except for the one I'll need when we have to hand over the very large cheque to cover the "doctor's fee"). And about time too. It's been a little "chilly" in here...temps were at 63 when we went to bed and woke to 57. My oh my. Jumping into the shower felt good!!

All that aside, what has really hit home for me is how blessed we are. Certainly we are blessed that this happened at the beginning of spring and not the dead of winter where we would have felt the cold so much more.

We are blessed that we are not homeless. That we have the availability of funds to pay for a new furnace. I think of the people who are strapped financially and have no outlet, no other resource to have the required funds to replace necessities. I think of those who have no homes, who make their way in the world in a manner that I can't even begin to imagine.

I might have felt the cold as I ran from my bed to the shower, shivering and squealing. But as I stood under that warm water I gave thanks for all that I have and had a much better appreciation for those who might not be in such a blessed position.

Don't forget to give thanks today for all the blessings in your life.

Shabby Blogs...

Looking for something fresh, something new? Time for a change or just a little hit of spring to make your blog feel renewed?

Check out Shabby Blogs by Meg Hastings. Delightful backgrounds, blinkies, and tags, all at no cost, simply because Meg wants others to have nice looking blogs. Check out Meg's blog or click on the photo above to be taken to the Shabby Blogs site.

Thanks to Gina at A Bit of Whimsy -- her background is so soft and beautiful I had to follow the link!

Seeing with Your Ears...

Following doctor's "orders", I managed to take in 30 minutes of sunshine on Friday afternoon...which by the way, was one of the most beautiful spring days we have had so far in southern Ontario.

While reading a book, I felt myself beginning to glow under the warmth of the sun. I closed my book and then my eyes and just "listened". I could hear a woodpecker, and then a few noisy robins. I heard a squirrel in the tree above me, picking away at something in his paws. I heard young children a few doors down, laughing as they played. That light, bubbly giggle that is the kind 3 and 4 years olds make. And when the mother said it was time to come in they didn't whine or moan, they laughed and said they weren't ready they were having too much fun. I nodded my head in agreement...please stay, just a little longer.

I miss that laughter and that bubbling forth now that my sons are much, much past that age. I always find myself smiling when I hear the wonder and the joy about life from little ones. As for staying outside, I felt the same way myself. We've all been stuck indoors much too long and it's time we were able to spread our wings just a little more.

It is always possible to find the joy in the day.

*photograph originally uploaded to flickr by VWC Photography/Val September 18, 2008

Thinking Before You Speak...

The following comment was posted to my blog on Friday afternoon. I chose to have blog owner approval on this blog because I had had the unfortunate experience of meeting some troubled people through blogging. As well, I never felt "comfortable" around some of these individuals and as this is my blog and my life, the people whom I choose to socialize with or include in my circle are those who I feel comfortable with and who are positives in my life. I learned through cancer that life is too short to do otherwise. And as I was telling my youngest son last week as he was making some difficult decisions that you always have to be true to yourself, even if it means that sometimes you are going to hurt someone else's feelings. It's an important lesson. Not always easy but it must be done. I deleted the comment from the comment section of the applicable post, but I did not want to delete the comment. I wanted this woman to know that her comment was read. It didn't affect me the way I expect she hoped it would and even though she didn't use her name I want her to have her say. Here then is the comment left for me.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Discovering Ordinary Courage...":

How about the courage to accept kindness and not turn it into something else, kindness is kindness,no strings attached. How about compassion and treating people with respect. Discarding people like trash because YOU decide a great act of kindness has a sinister motive. Your quotes are beautiful, now live them.That takes courage. I never thought you were cruel, but so I was shocked.

I deleted the comment because it was petty and meaningless. It was done out of spite and in support of someone else and I do know who left it, even though the writer chose to hide behind her skirts and post anonymously. Other information is left even when you make an anonymous post like IP addresses, location, etc. It wasn't difficult to figure out. My immediate reaction to this was, if we are talking about courage then why doesn't this woman have the courage to stand by her convictions and speak what she so strongly feels by using her name? No matter what way you look at this, that is cowardice. It also speaks to me that this person really doesn't know the whole story. She has heard one version, probably read something I had written (in good faith and in good conscience) and yet, has decided because of her own clouded judgement that I am who she believes me to be.

Please note that I have never met this woman nor her friend and I find it incredibly difficult to believe that either one of them would know me anymore than I know them. As for my rejection of kindness, again, this woman has no clear idea of what is in my head, what was happening in my life or what any of her accusations entail. She has been told one thing and one thing only. She is speaking out of the other side of her mouth without having facts. That can be embarrassing. I don't visit or comment on these people's blogs and I can't for the life of me figure out why they would want to come to mine.

To the person who wrote this, I'm sorry that you carry such bitterness in your heart. To anyone else who is reading this, remember the importance of this: no matter what your opinion or your feelings, the words are meaningless if you haven't the courage to stand behind them with your name. No one ever takes anything written anonymously very seriously.

I am closing comments for this post. I didn't share this for empathy or positive feedback...or for negative feedback. I shared it so that the writer would know what I think of her behaviour, and sadly about her, and so that others will think twice before committing such a shameful act towards someone else.

Spring Sale at Bella ♥ Rennie

I haven't been feeling "the muse" for the last many weeks and it's time to do some spring cleaning, both in my studio and in my Bella ♥ Rennie shop. If you are looking for quality paper goods...cards and gift tags, please check my altered art collage items for the special half off sale I'm having on selected items until the end of the month.

Vitamin D

*photo originally uploaded to flickr by chipchirip August 30, 2008

It seems researchers have discovered that low levels of Vitamin D have been known to be a contributing factor in breast cancer. My doctor shared this information with me a few weeks ago and while testing my blood for other things, added a Vitamin D check. Turns out I'm on the low end of "normal" for Vitamin D levels. I'm now being advised to take 1000 units of Vitamin D daily and take 30 minutes of sunshine per day. Might be a little difficult on a rainy, dull day. But with the weather changing it will be easier. I thought I was getting enough Vitamin D through milk and the Vitamin D in my calcium pills. Apparently not.

Have you checked your level of Vitamin D?

Dreams....and Possibility

This is an absolute MUST WATCH. If this does not make you smile, make you feel good, make you realize how taking a chance, and risking can bring such reward...well then. And never let age be a factor. Age is a number. Nothing more.

Susan Boyle on Britain Got Talent
Uploaded by dwarthy

Discovering Ordinary Courage...

I was so pleased...and amazed yesterday when I was reading Lani Kent's blog. She shared her "find" about Brene Brown of Ordinary Courage. I'd read Brene's blog some time ago but after reading Lani's post, I followed the links. Brene discusses her book "I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power", the subject of shame and what that means to her, what she discovered in her research for the book.

A scroll through Brene's blog reveals so much more and is well worth a look.

....Pocketful of Sunshine...

Feelin' good on Monday...

Blessings at Easter

Making the Past Come Alive...

A photograph taken likely c. 1865 of a great great great grandmother and a great great great aunt of mine.

When you find an artifact like this, you go over it with a magnifying glass, a fine tooth comb and minute observation -- looking for the clues and the similarities. You ask yourself, do I look like these people? What features do we share? Do these people look like someone else in my family that I would immediately recognize?

Looking into the past is so much more than just names and dates. It's finding census information that lists where these people lived, their occupations, who lived in the house beside them. You feel saddened when you find the next census and some of the names are missing. For the young child that was born and lived less than one year. For the many children that happened to. You discover young widows and young widowers. And how often the young widowers remarried whereas the widows rarely did. You discover those widows hadn't the money to keep the family and you see a further census with some of the children living as boarders in other people's homes. And you see how "common" this was in those days.

You find certificates of marriage and certificates of death. You find passenger lists that carry the names of those who made the trip from somewhere else to where you are now.

You realize that no matter what difficulties we face in our lives, that we really do live well. We have opportunities and possibilities that our forebears could never even imagine. Yes, it's true that sometimes families fall on hard times and children are placed into foster care -- for any number of reasons. That hasn't changed. But a young mother, widowed or divorced has the opportunity to return to work or to keep working in order to keep her family together, to keep a roof over their heads. Certainly we still have homelessness and sadly, that is an issue that is not handled as well as it might have been in the "old days", when neighbours were often extended family or felt like family if they were not. Where people knew their neighbours and cared for one another.

Without the internet a lot of my research would be painstaking and slow. I would be spending hours in archives, scrolling through microfiche or leafing through dusty, faded Church records. Sites like Ancestry.ca, Ancestry.co.uk have been a tremendous help. The fact that some other extended members of my family have begun research and it is on line has helped. That there is an entire site devoted to people with my surname has been wonderful. That my closest friend knew where to start, helped me with the beginning and steered me in directions I wouldn't have known to go has also helped.

The only thing left for me to do now is to write. To make sense of it, to flesh it out and make these people speak, to be more than just names and dates on a sheet of paper.

Keeping the Past Alive...

*flickr image originally uploaded by Cassuccino January 27, 2009

I've been spending a great deal of time in the past. I've been sorting through information to learn more about my family heritage. Where I came from, where people lived, trying to put all the names into some sort of order. Amazingly, when I come across a piece of the puzzle it's like opening a box and memories come flooding out of stories remembered, of people remembered and the puzzle continues to grow. I've benefited from the fact that other people, somewhere in this maze of branches in family lines have compiled their own research information and it's online and I've been able to plumb the depths of what they have learned.

It's an incredible feeling to stumble upon a very distant great-great-great....and see a photograph of someone you had previously never known existed and yet you share a bloodline with this person.

I must say, this process is very habit forming...digging through old records, learning things you didn't know, about people you knew and people you didn't know makes you eager for more. And on some level I'm finding it very healing, very cathartic to lay old wounds to rest and in the process there is a forgiveness that is indescribable.

Sunday Discoveries...

On Thursday, I purchased a bouquet of daffodils from a vendor canvassing for the Canadian Cancer Society. This is the time when for $7.00 you can purchase a bit of sunshine and lend support for such a worthy cause. The bunch was held together with an elastic band and nothing was ready to open. Put them in a vase, fill it with water and within 24 hours they were open and smelling like a little bit of heaven. I can smell them from the other room they are that fresh. Spring, sunshine, generosity. It doesn't get much better than this.

It's not quite time yet in my garden for bulbs to begin blooming, and when I saw these potted tulips in the grocery store last week, I decided it was time to have some outdoors, indoors where I could begin to feel the freshness of springtime.



What I love about this pot of pleasure is that when I bought it, the bulbs were small and tight and as they began to open, I noticed that this one tulip had a lovely streak of green running through it. Makes it unique and stands out from the others.

*art by Robbie Jenkins

As a thank you for having talked about the art of Robbie Jenkins, I was thrilled when Robbie gifted me with one of her pieces, created especially for me. I have this hanging in my family room at the bottom of the stairs where I see it every day. Thanks so much for your generosity, and the beauty of your art Robbie!

I spent a few hours yesterday while it rained and blew a gale outside, curled up on my bed with tea and an afghan and lost myself in this lovely little book, The Sidewalk Artist by Gina Buonaguro and Janice Kirk. A story about art, love, writing and the artist Raffaello Sanzio. Of course I was then off to search and read about this artist whom I had certainly heard of but never known much about. I love it when I read a novel that takes me other places and stretches my knowledge.

The Tall and the Short of It...

Is the Queen SHRINKING or what!?!?!?!

...some thoughts ...

.... some thoughts ...

♥ after weeks of fallowness and a muse that has gone into a coma, I may try my hand at jewelry making. Deryn Mentock has been fascinating me these last few months with her thoughts and her art...I'm looking at exploring new avenues.

♥ I'm re-reading Susan Tuttle's "Exhibition 36" -- not because I want to do all of the things other artists have done...I'm enjoying how people express themselves and the inspiration that they share.

♥ I loved the comments people left about potential. I love how people view what they can do or what they cannot do and how they view the challenge of life's potential.

♥ I called the Olympic issue postage stamp "ugly" and yet, Lelainia found the beauty in the stamp by saying it was colourful...and it is.

♥ I gave up something for Lent this year (can't recall the last time I did that) and it feels sssssooooooo good!

Parody...

Pouring rain today, dull, grey and cloudy...no need for "MY" sunglasses but I found some laughter on You Tube...a good sport and a good character can always laugh at him (or her!) self...