Waking around 4:15 a.m., rolling over, and then over again and one more time, this time burying my face into the pillows thinking that I'll surely drift back to sleep THIS time...but the more I thought about drifting back to sleep, the more awake I became. Two or three times I thought about just getting up but it was the fourth time when I sat up, threw back the comforter and decided my day was beginning whether I was ready or not.
So here I sit with my coffee..freshly pressed in my Bodum French press...a lovely Butter Rum flavour because it's December and holiday time and I deserve a treat every day. Tomorrow it might be Chocolate Macaroon, Pumpkin Spice or the Christmas blend I bought from Starbucks the other day. Or maybe tea...Earl Grey or Chai. I won't know about tomorrow until it happens. For now I'm happy with what I have and where I am (though quite honestly, I think I'd be happier still sleeping for another few hours...).
I've been doing a lot of journaling and marshalling my thoughts over the last couple of weeks...first allowing them to run, for all the things that swirl in my head...you know the kind of thoughts I'm talking about -- the ones that keep you up at 4:00 a.m., or 2:00 a.m. or keep nagging at you as the day progresses...to spill out and onto the page. These aren't just random thoughts I'm talking about, and they aren't just jotted down as they come to me. The thoughts are coherent and insightful and the more I write, the more I discover. I'm marshalling them so that they don't end up confusing my vision or dragging me down and along because they want to be heard and I'm not listening. You know what it's like when something or someone is inisistent that you listen or pay attention and you are thinking about something else. You feel like you're being pulled in too many directions and getting nowhere with any of them. Thoughts do that too. They fight with one another to be heard first until you want to scream in frustration. Letting them out, to have their say has been making life so much easier for me. Once those nagging bits and pieces have been removed, I feel I've cleared space in my head for the things that really do matter and require my attention.
I've taken a number of online courses for art journaling and painting and one for journaling and photography combined. I was discouraged by a few and encouraged in a few and when I thought I would probably never take another online course, one of my favourite artist bloggers decided that she would offer what she does online. When I saw that I signed up immediately, because I knew that whatever Stephanie Lee was offering, it would be excellent. I haven't been disappointed and will be a little bereft when the course is finished. However, I will be taking away with me so much that she has shared. I have learned something wonderful about the art of journal keeping, about myself and feel inspired in a way that I had been searching for.
Stephanie writes at Semiprecious Salvage. An artist of many talents -- jewelry, painting, plaster work to name a few, Stephanie teaches in many venues -- Art & Soul, Valley Ridge, Artfest, An Artful Journey and the newly created Be Present Retreat. Having taken an online course with Stephanie I look forward to the day when I will sit down in a classroom with Stephanie and share art time and soul time with her. More than what she creates as an artist, it is Stephanie as a person with her authentic heart and her gift of giving herself that I want to experience.
If you are looking for online classes for 2010, or art workshops for 2010, Stephanie will be doing both. Her Thought Threads journal class will be offered again early in the new year and I highly recommend it.
Now that I've rambled on here, it's time to get out my journal, my favourite pen and let the rest of my thoughts flow.
20 comments:
I am very familiar with the wake-up in the middle of the night. When thoughts will just not settle down so that I can rest. I can;t say I'm a fan of those experiences, but experience them we must.
I hope your thoughts have settled nicely in the journal and will allow you to get on with your day and your sleep. :)
If one must awaken and arise before the birds, there is nothing better than a good cup of coffee and pen & paper for company.
I wonder how many of us do this?
I know what you mean about waking up whether you are ready or not. I am very light sensitive, so I have always slept later in winter, but I find myself waking quite early lateley and nothing to do but get up and start my day. I am beginning to feel that the early hours are the best time for reflection and thought, a cup of coffee and devotions, time for myself. I may not always be happy about waking up "too early" but I seem to be adapting and I am beginning to relish the productivity of that time of day:>) The journal in your photo is beautiful!
Sherry Lee: That is a beautifully written post! I will check out those links. Thank you for them and your inspiration.
dont you get so much more accomplished when you just give in and get up rather than trying to drift back to sleep?
i must make the effort to try at least one online course next year.
I love this post! Wonderfully said.
I know just how it is. I too fight those too-early hours, but, you know, sometimes they end up being the most productive and best ever.
It sure beats telling my brain to shut up so I can get some sleep. ;-)
Jennifer
Lovely morning, musings... and hope you've had some good creative time with your journal! Next year I am wanting to explore art & journaling along the path of spirituality and see what happens... I'm excited too! Happy Days :o) 8(HUGS))
I will never tire of my journal and pen. Something about putting the pen to the page (instead of typing on a keyboard) brings such satisfaction. It seems there is more freedom there. Some of my journaled words make it my blog, but most end up being for my eyes only. And then, once they're on the page, often I am able to put the troubling thoughts to rest for good. Enjoy your journaling adventure today!
"Letting them out, to have their say has been making life so much easier for me." Thank you for sharing this today... I am going to give it a try! My thoughts are often pulling me in too many directions to do any good! :)
Oh, I had one of those nights (er, mornings) a couple of weeks ago. I got up at 4:30, after having been awake for a couple of hours. My cats all thought I had gone nuts - I usually get up around 6:00, but they wanted breakfast anyway! Too early for breakfast is a phrase that does not exist in their vocabulary! LOL
Sleep has been super choppy for me too these nights...the pace of the world is creeping in to my resting time I think. I am really proud of how I am handling it though. Like you, after the third or fourth roll over, I figure I might as well get to work - for me it has been mediating, focusing on breath, learning to quiet that mind...good work, you know ? I think your "marshalling" of your thoughts (love the use of that word !) into your journal is brilliant ! I am positive that that kind of work is taking your soul where it needs to go...I guess sweet sleep will just have to wait...we've got work to do.
Big love to you, wonderful Sherry-friend.
Lately I have been waking at 1:30 a.m. One day I got up and cleaned the house that early and worked on some Christmas presents I'm making. Busy little minds here. **kisskiss** Deb
I must admit a bit of jealousy at the mention of all those yummy coffees. I steer clear of caffeine (except for chocolate indulgence). I love the taste and smell of them though. I didn't stall there, however, for I too am one who will rise in the night on occasion with my mind and spirit ready to receive, free from distraction of the day. the Thought Threads Journal sounds intriguing. I am going to watch for it in the new year. I take it your 4:00 am rising was filled with journaling time. I've been thinking much lately about digging put past journals. Need time- perhaps in the night :)
i've been a bit out of touch with all my blogging friends, and what a complete joy to come and read your post... your writing is dazzling me... (really)... the details, the depth, the reflection... it is all beautifully written and shared...
Another inspiring post....I often wake in the middle of the night with hot flashes and struggle to get back to sleep. Getting up to journal is a great idea! I've been thinking about taking an on-line class and will look into your recommendations--thanks!
I hate when this happens. I usually stay in bed and toss and turn. Crazy isn't it? I wish I could make myself get up and do something productive.
I'll have to check this e course out. Might be looking the first of the year.
Hope you've had a good day.
Hugs,
Charlie
I can relate to those early morning calls. Sleep eludes me earlier and earlier. I will look into Stephanie Lee's classes because I am an eternal student. It can be hard to focus our thoughts sometimes, especially with other people wanting or needing attention or things done. I think it's a developed art form, being able to keep one's thoughts about oneself.
I have had many an early morning entry, be it blog or journal, or both! As you said, you have to let those thoughts out in order to get anything else done. I write and I write and I write. Sometimes Phil will ask "What are you writing about?" and I say "Everything!" It simply all has to get onto the paper. Love and hugs to you!
I seem to mull things over in my head when i get in bed - so mine is not dropping off until late , and not waking early really !
I do wake early on the odd occasion then have to get up and just potter about , but i`ve never thought of writing down what`s going in my head that early in the morning !
Were you at my house last night? For this is exactly what I was doing. I enjoyed and related to your experience profoundly.
Katharina
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