"My Truth" created by Sherry Smyth, January 2008
If you did nothing but pursue the the truth about yourself for the rest of your life, you would never run out of fresh discoveries. ~ Martha Beck
I've done a lot of truth work over the last 10 years, more specifically over the last 4 years and I really thought I had a handle on truth, that there wasn't much more about myself I could discover. I expected that working through the second chapter of the Joy Diet would be a breeze for me. Sadly it hasn't been. Sometimes the truth hurts. Even when I thought I had moved beyond the pain of some of the truth in my life, it seems there is lingering sadness and hurt. Some of it buried quite deeply. Martha's sentence on page 31 hit me between the eyes. I read that and gasped.
Some truth is good news, it is positive and refreshing. Some truth we uncover about ourselves can make us feel lighter than air and feel wonderful. It seems we tend not to dwell on those truths, we go to the truths that bring pain and sorrow. Shame perhaps. Guilt maybe. Or perhaps Grief. We use denial to hold these truths at bay, to keep them on the top shelf of the closet, pushed back behind larger items that obscure our view.
Most of the negative truths, the ones that can cause us to suffer the most are caused by the stories that we tell ourselves about these truths. The stories aren't about the reality of what causes the pain but the stories we tell ourselves about that reality.
It has been a hard process to work through some of these truths I'm discovering. For all of the hard, negative truths I'm uncovering, I'm making it a purpose to find and discover the softer, positive truths as well. And I'm changing the stories that I tell myself. Changing how I tell them. Remembering to put into practice all of the wonderful ways I learned to cope with truths as I discovered them in the past.
I've learned to be compassionate with myself. I've learned to tell the story in a way that makes me feel better about myself...it may be the same story but I tell it with compassion, gentleness and understanding. And I've remembered to live in my heart and not my head. My heart tells me the truth about every situation. When I live in my head I weave the stories that create the pain and sorrow. When I live in my heart, the stories are still true, but they don't bite quite so much. They make me realize who I am, how I got to be this person and how I can use the truth to discover even better truths within my life.
Here's another truth. I haven't enjoyed working through truth. There were times it made me feel physically ill and out of sorts. But I have done it. Our next challenge is desire. I much prefer the sound of that.
42 comments:
Love the way you said this - always remember to be compassionate with yourself. I think I need to write that on my bathroom mirror!
BTW, Captain says: of course I can haz Cheezburger!!
My dear Sherry, that's a great post! Thank you so much for it. Remember our special moment of TRUTH? I will never in my life forget that! It's so important to make a step forward and tell the truth, as you did it! Thank you! xo
So very true - you should live in your heart !
I think many of us have conversations in our heads , worry and make it seem worse than what is or could be . They are mostly negative thoughts in this way and a different train of thought is what we do need .
Although it was a painful process for you - you have learned something more about yourself - and that`s good isn`t it ?
Bravo! You are willing to do the hard work. The rewards are great aren't they. They are also evident to those around you, I'm sure.
You're a great example for us all Sherry Lee.
I definitely had a hard time with this chapter. I know I have some more work to do -- it is time to look under the carpet and to sweep out all of the old stuff to clear way for new things. I've never been good at housel cleaning! At the same time, I don't want to get too distracted by stuff that is such history.. I like living in the NOW.
This week was tougher for me too. I've got to go post about it now. Your sharing boosts my courage:)
I've always thought of truth as blunt - black and white, no choice. But like stregata I like the line 'always remember to be compassionate with yourself.' Thanks for a kinder, gentler, less merciless perspective.
You are so brave, digging in the dirt to find the diamonds hidden there. No wonder it made it hard on you physically - that is hard work, beautiful Sherry !
The self-compassion is the key, I think, in all of your truth lessons. We are not perfect, nor can we ever be in this human existence. The truth is when we know better, we can t r y and do better. And when we show ourselves compassion, we are so much more likely to do better than if be berate or condemn ourselves. There are some ugly truths, yes, but the most important truth is that life is short and precious and should not be wasted being cruel to ourselves. Find the truth, shine the light on it, and go out there and live that glorious life.
You amaze me, Sherry - you brave seeker-woman you !
Love you.
Wonderful post, Sherry. Compassion ... a very important word. We do need to start with ourselves. Compassion for what we discover about our truths. I love *living in my hear not my head*. Yep Yep and Yep!
A little award for you on my blog - or is this an award free zone?
Your opening blew me away. I, too, thought I'd handled my truth issues already. I was a bit smug. Then two situations slammed into to me this week, that made me realize I had a bit more work to do.
While it often hurts to face the truth, I find that on the other side, I feel more informed and relieved. Living an Authentic life is hard work!
That was a mouthful. One of my favorite lessons via Caroline Myss is understanding the difference between true and truth. And because I don't believe in co-incidence, part of my homework this next two weeks for another class I'm taking is to ask myself the question, "What else is true". This is tough work, but we're made for it.
Thank you for sharing your truth this week, it is not always easy.
I think I will use your example if you don't mind and for every truth I uncover that is tough I will find one that is softer to balance it with.
beautiful post. thank you for sharing your honest experience. i had a similar one, and it was comforting to read your reflection. thank you.
What a wonderful post. You are correct...we bury, deep, the truths that cause us pain. I am comforted by how gentle you are with yourself and your truths. You have shown that you can look at your truths with different eyes. Instead of the shaming, judgmental eyes of the past, we can look at our truth with love, understanding and compassion. And, we can forgive ourselves for the parts of our story that have hurt other people. We can make amends and heal wounds. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for you comments on my blog...they keep me motivated!
It's wonderful to read your post. So wise! Thank you for your kind comments. It's so great to share these struggles with each other - as I said - we need to share these painful truths, it makes them easier to deal with!
Truth can be so vulnerable and exposed feeling... but in the same token, I see that you are retelling your stories, and I think that is brave and powerful. We so often say that the truth has to be something painful... but perhaps the truth is when we are able to face the painful things and rise above them, to not become them. So much to think about .... :)
oh, Truth is certainly a double-edged sword...painful and healing. You have to be Brave to endure both sides of the blade.
I absolutely love your approach to truth. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
You are SO brave dear one. I am walking beside you if you need me.
Love,
LuLu~*xoxo
I too have to stay out of my head and listen to my heart for the truth!
Hi, dear one:
I just passed an award on to you!
i got to this chapter, and i was stopped in my tracks.
truth is difficult... i will read on. : )
lead by example...it's what you do. you are so inspiring.
I agree compassion is the key. That's what I shared with my life coach tonight as we did my 2 week check in. Amazing post you have here. I so love the leaf on your blog. Yummy peace and truth to you.
wow... i need that book!
what a gut level... beautiful post!
i have a hard time facing the truth... the painful ones of course... i run from them... am learning that i better face the truths so i can see the good ones in there too.
Lovely art....guess we could spend our entire life finding out new things. Life is good, even with uncovered truths.
Yes, none of us enjoy working through the truths. But to quote a saying from churches - for one thing. "And the truth shall set you free."
Thanks for being honest with how you felt about the Truth. I share your sentiments about it, and I'm definitely hoping that Desire provides some much needed balance for all that negative or harsh truth. This whole joy diet is proving more difficult than I imagined it to be. I feel like a kid on a road trip to joy and fun asking, "Are we there yet?!"
I'll be ready for Desire too!! hehe
I am right with you on the fact that when you think you've got your truths all in a row...you revisit them and realize there's still some lingering grief there. But, that's OKAY. Much better than the alternative of not seeking them at all! Love your blog. Sending you peace and wellness! <3
I totally know what you mean about Truth not being the most fun to work through!! Had moments of feeling ill myself this week, too. Probably the most wonderful thing anyone ever gave me was the advice to be gentle with myself. That came in the middle of grief's wrath and I was so grateful for getting and then giving myself permission to be gentle with me. Here's to being gentle!
And looking forward to juicy desire for next week :)
As another person trying to work thorough some truths, I've been feeling alone and alienated. Your post let me know I'm not. Thank you so much.
Well said. I experienced some of the same feelings myself reading this chapter. Thanks for sharing!
The lies we tell ourselves are all part of our defense mechanisms. To discover the reality behind those lies is a challenge – a difficult one but ultimately rewarding. I make a point of trying to remember this mantra – “Be gentle with yourself” when on such a journey.
Be gentle with yourself, my friend.
Looking forward to reading about your “desires.”
We are all harder on ourselves than we need to be. Even when there are painful or embarassing truths we should remember that God loves us as we are, with all our faults and problems, and that means we should love ourselves in spite of those things too! Nobody is perfect. We all have things that we do that make us criunge when we look at them. You are right, we need to look at ourselves with our heart not our heads. Love covers all.
What a powerful post, and strangely coincendental. I was struggling earlier this week with some "truths" that I was not liking at all. THis sounds like such an intriguing book.
Spectacular! You have encapsulated the process most of us are going through. Especially those of us, who have the practice of truth-telling. There is always some neglected truth lurking in the corner, and it's such a relief bringing it to light. But, boy, does it stink! :)
Sherry, you are such a great companion going through this book. I appreciate your wisdom and honesty as you discuss your work with this chapter on truth. And in your vision card, the thing that jumps out at me is "trust". Does the tru in both words come from a common source?
The trusting is the thing to hang on to. And when we trust, even when we don't like what's happening, we can turn things to a softer way - as you pointed out.
I am sorry, I thought I left a comment last night. Thank you so much for helping me see deeper into this. You words have touched me deeply. See ya next week.
It is so wonderful that you have found that soft place in you to give yourself compassion, I sometimes find that part difficult, but am learning on the way, I have made myself a card which I look at every time I leave the house, it says, "I appreciate myself" and "I am safe", it makes me stop and Breathe for a few seconds before I take off and do stuff. Angie :)
Hi Sherry. Your truth-telling is poignant, kind and beautiful. Yay for staying on the journey of a lifetime! And yes, yay for the next chapter being desire! ;)
Great post. It is a painful process but I love your perspective of coming from the heart to bring softness and compassion to ourselves. I think that is key.
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