"I Dare You!" - Risk - Chapter Five of The Joy Diet Experience

Who didn't play "truth or dare, double dare, promise or repeat" as a child?  That game of thrill and suspense of what would you choose or what would be chosen for you...would you have the courage to accept the challenge?  Usually it was something silly, sometimes it was something dangerous that took you out of your comfort zone.  It wasn't a game my friends and I played often which for me was a good thing.  Timid and shy to some degree, I was always afraid that the risk wasn't worth the benefit.

This sign, "play at your own risk"...I've never thought of "play" as risk.  I've thought of play as something to do that brings enjoyment and pleasure, perhaps a challenge and some form of exercise both physical and mental.  I understand that the risk referred to is injury and is meant as a warning that the owner of the property will not be held liable for any accident or injury, that we take this upon ourselves.  As is only fitting.   Anything we choose to do is our own decision whether it works for us or not.  I would prefer though not to let the fear of injury deter me from the enjoyment of play.

Martha Beck talks about "risking" in her book "The Joy Diet" and recommends, "every day, do at least one frightening thing that contributes to the fulfillment of your desires."  I like the challenge of this.  I especially like that Martha believes "the criterion by which you should decide which dangers to face, and which to avoid, is not your chance of succeeding but the depth of your desire."  Every day Martha?  I suppose if following The Joy Diet was the only thing I was doing in my life, I might manage it once per day.  I think aiming for once per week is much more realistic for me.  As with any self-help work, whether through a book or a doctor, not every theory or every practice is right for every person.  It's important to know what will work for you and what feels right. 

Safety is paramount when risking (unless being a skydiver or mountain climber is the hearts desire...obviously safety precautions are taken but these are two activities where danger is part of the desire), and not creating or getting into situations that are dangerous is important.  Deciding your own comfort zone and working within that.  Common sense.

Martha suggests starting small and then working up the ladder with risks.  That makes a great deal of sense.  You wouldn't jump into the deep end of the swimming pool if you didn't know how to swim.  You would start by jumping into the shallow end and learning to float.  As you became comfortable with the water you would move toward the deep end.

I've started to risk again.  When I was a teenager, and in my early 20s I was quite happy to risk -- I loved fast rides, roller coasters, testing myself in many ways.  I had a button pinned to my purse when I was in high school that said "I'll try anything once, twice if I like it" -- a saucy, silly little saying and I really didn't try everything...I still stayed within my personal comfort zone, but I was willing to, as Martha phrased it, "walk into the monster's maw".  With each little success I would feel empowered to do more.

Then I became a mother and risk and daring were no longer options for me.  I packed them up in tissue with ribbons, awards, concert ticket stubs and all the other paraphernalia of my carefree teenage existence.

Breast cancer made me aware of my life...of time and of desires unfulfilled.  I risked with treatment, opting for chemotherapy -- pumping poisons into my body.  Side effects were a risk I was willing to take.  As I've moved back into the mainstream of life I am risking again.  Taking baby steps.  I want to write and to be published.  I have already created a zine as a fundraiser and it has been well accepted.  I feel that success and know that I want more.

One of Martha's criteria when making a risk assessment stayed with me because it was something I had first been exposed to many years ago in a psychology class at college.  It was important to me during cancer treatment and it remains important to me today.  This is something everyone is wise to ask themselves on a regular basis:

"At the end of my life, which will I regret more:  taking this risk and failing, or refusing to take it, and never knowing whether I would have succeeded or failed?"

 

*images found through google.com