I've always been good about keeping appointments, about being on time and making sure that if someone says "you need" or "I want you to have" that I am there. Ingrained habits from childhood? Maybe. Or maybe more that I have just always been attentive to and vigorous about my health.
Then came cancer and I lost the "control" to some degree about deciding whether or not I would do this that or the other. There is no doubt that I still held the reins for the final decision on what treatment I would have, if I wanted treatment at all or if I would prefer alternative to traditional. In this situation I trusted the oncologists, both chemotherapy and radiation and followed the "programme" that was laid out for me. I continued to be my usual self when it comes to doctors and medicine asking question after question. Whatever is being put into my body I want to know all the ins and outs about why and what does it do and what will it possibly do. As everyone needs to be -- I am always informed and aware of what is going on with my body.
After cancer treatment I felt depleted. I felt "doctored out". I had seen so many doctors for so many things. I had seen technicians and nursing staff sometimes daily (during radiation) and I reached the point of "enough". I needed a break from the merry-go-round of hospitals and doctor's offices. However, ending cancer treatment doesn't mean that you are "finished" with all of that. There are follow-ups with all the doctors and follow ups in certain tests and you come to realize that you are "in the system" for life. On some levels that is comforting. On others it becomes a chore.
Roll forward to my stress echo of a few weeks ago. The appointment to which I ultimately said "no". There I was, dressed for the treadmill, finishing my breakfast and getting ready to head out the door when I stopped and put down my bags, picked up the telephone and cancelled the test. It had been in the back of my mind I admit that, but there was no hesitation in cancelling. I knew it was the thing to do.
If I felt that this test was necessary and I really needed to have it, I would have gone without a backward glance. I knew that this test wasn't necessary. I knew I had a 2D Echo booked (this week as a matter of fact) and felt that if there were any results from that test that showed concerns I'd have the doctor reschedule the stress echo. I'm not dismissing my heart health. I was making a decision based on my own connection with my body. True, these tests show different aspects of the heart function. But I'm tired. I'm done. I'm seriously just wanting to get on with life and not be feeling like a specimen all the time.
I'm not advocating cancelling appointments for tests or follow ups that a doctor feels are necessary. I'm advocating taking some control over your own body, knowing what you can handle and what you can't. My reluctance and humour over having to have the test were telling me not that I was afraid of the test...more that I was putting myself into a situation that I felt was unnecessary. We'll see if the cardiologist agrees with me when I next see him!!
10 comments:
This is so awesome, Sherry. You are a pioneer, you know. Finding a balance with medicine and other healing practices and most of all, listening to our own bodies is the only way we can go now, I think. Doctors are experts on that one part of the body they focus on or one area of medicine. We are the only experts on our own bodies and we need to feel like that ! The medical profession will need to change that way too, because too many of us are waking up and taking back our power. Doing it with a brave heart and a strong ear for what our bodies want us to do to help it stay well is the way of the future ! You are a miracle and I am sooo glad you are listening to your self !Once again, you inspire me, Lady !
Big big love !
Sherry Lee: I did the exact same thing. Knew I did not need the stress test and when I heard a client describe how she was obliged to huff and puff in her underwear (!!!), I felt I was not going to submit myself to that kind of humiliation on a doctor's whim. I did have the echo-cardiogram and it revealed everything to be normal.
Nice to meet someone else who says, "Oh, no you don't" to doctors too.
When I had surgery for basal cell carcinoma - was all prepped with a paper sheet over my face with a hole exposing area and my nose so I could breath (could not see). I had a felt sense that someone else had entered the room and it was not my doctor who would be performing the surgery. I said, "I want Dr. ---
to perform the surgery" - the resident stepped away and the doctor did it - no problem. I know these residents have to learn - but not on my face (another area of my body would have been fine) - plus they did not do me the courtesy of asking or informing me.
You go girl!!!! Bravo.
Good for you! I would have done the same thing.
My doctor has not suggested it yet but I know that soon he will tell me a need to have a colonoscopy. The thought of that just mortifies me. I have a sign back there that says "EXIT ONLY"...'nuff said!! *giggle*
Love,
LuLu~*xoxo
Your decision to cancel reminds me of what my physiotherapist repeatedly tells us in hydrotherapy class: “Listen to your body.”
You listened – and you also made an informed decision based on past tests and tests to come. I think maintaining a certain degree of control over our bodies goes a long way in reducing stress and promoting health.
Kudos to you.
Good for you! We know our bodies better than our doctors. We know when something is *off*. I want my doctor to listen to me, to talk with me, to make decisions with me ... not for me. So far, he does all those things and sometimes I wonder how he can -- as busy as he is. Ah, well.
You GO GIRL!
I admire you for the courage to cancel. I would've done the same thing. Sometimes, although the doctors mean well, there are just some tests that aren't necessary at that point and time. We have to be vigilant when it comes to our health choices.
Good for you... taking control of your choices! Many times we know our own bodies better than any medical certificate could
I know EXACTLY where you are coming from and can totally relate to how that feels. I've been at it non-stop for 26 months now. Sometimes you just have to say NO.
I am declairing a moratorium on all things medical for Feb. & Mar. 2010.
I`m glad you made this decision !
Even though the docs know what can be the best for you - you went against the grain and listened to your body - something which they cannot control , and i do hope your cardiologist agrees so !!
I have always thought that we know our bodies better than doctors do. They often order tests as a a matter of coourse and prescribe medicines that we don't really need. When my girls were small I can't tell you how many times I got somethign checked out and just held on to the prescription to see if they really needed it, and they didn't. It was there just in case. Good luck with your upcoming test, I'm sure you did the right thing:>)
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