Sharing my lumpectomy scar the other day started me thinking about flaws and imperfections. Many years ago I was bothered and aware, sometimes even to the point of being self-conscious, of my slightly crooked top front teeth. Money wasn't something we had a lot of when I was a child and a teenager, in fact, it was often very tight. There weren't dental plans as expansive as they are today. I had the option at 16 of having braces, at a cost to my mother and to myself, but at the time a trip to Italy was much more appealing and I reasoned that the opportunity to travel at that cost (and with those friends) would not present itself again. I reasoned that I had much to gain from a trip like that so I chose Italy over braces. It seemed to me that down the road, if I still wanted braces, I could take care of that myself. I chose fun and adventure over how I looked. If I had to make the decision again today, I'd make the same choice.
Roll forward many years and I never did bother with the braces though I thought about once or twice (or more). I either didn't have the time or the inclination. Sometimes I'd smile into the mirror and think, "if you change these teeth now you are changing who you are." There were times when I'd see my smile in a photograph and be dismayed because on some level that "imperfection" still managed to find it's way underneath my skin as a "flaw", one that was now on record.
I know at times I would try to hide my smile or cover my mouth when I laughed. Where did this insecurity over my smile come from? Likely from friends or people I knew (come to think of it, how could they be "friends" if they would feel it necessary to point out my "imperfections"?) asking me about my teeth or commenting on how uneven they were, or that one on the top was further back than all the others. I'd hear these comments and obviously they burrowed their way into my subconscious. I'd wonder why they felt free and easy to make these comments to me when I didn't ask them about their "flaws" or pass comment. People know what they look like. They know if they have a mole or a birthmark. They know if they have crooked teeth, thin hair or warts. What is gained by telling someone about an "imperfection"? Nothing as far as I'm concerned.
I look at the scars on my body -- from my cesareans, from my splenectomy, from my lumpectomy, from my hernia when I was 2 (I had an outy belly button!), from my axillary dissection after 1 lymph node was discovered to contain cancer cells...and I think...I don't stress over these "imperfections". I accept them and sometimes feel quite proud of what I have overcome.
Makes my crooked teeth pale in comparison to really nothing at all. Puts everything into proper perspective and I realize that each and every imperfection in this body of mine really does make me just "who" I am.
*image from tmtunes.com
14 comments:
What a lovely posting. Acceptance of ourselves is a beautiful thing :)
My torso looks like a roadmap from all my surgeries. My now grown son told me when he was younger "Mom, I bet if you connected the dots from all your boo boo's it would make a star because you shine for me every day"...ohhhhhhh how that warmed my heart! Right after that, he wanted to know if he could take my prosthesis for show and tell...he was dead serious too. Needless to say, I made him take something else.
Happy Friday Sweets!
LuLu~*xoxo
I, too, have teeth that are out of "step". My stepfather begrudged paying the dentist. And since I have lived in terror of dentists since my initial experiences, I could never get myself to have them fixed later. I do not enjoy seeing pictures of myself, when I have been fotographed in such a way that these teeth are extremely prominent. I guess we all have our imperfections. I think I prefer mine to be superficial.
Kiddo, you have one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever had the good fortune to see (and share). Your heart and soul are displayed in that smile of yours.
They’re revealed in those beautiful eyes of yours, too!
I knew there was a reason for me to be led here!!! I've grown up all my life with my left front tooth a little bucked. It wasn't until I was older that I would say I need braces. Then God fully moved in and made me see that I wasn't fully accepting myself. I grew up missing an arm and a leg, so why should a buck tooth bother me in the least?
I adore my smile now and my body as a whole, because I was created by the Almighty and He does not make mistakes. :)
You made a decision years ago and would not change it even today. You are confident and secure in yourself. Bravo for you. I like that you went to Italy instead of getting braces.
Everyone is so perfect these days we are all starting to look alike...lol well maybe not....but sometimes we do take it too far.
Embrace your imperfections.
My personal tagline is " I don't *do* perfect". I need to put that into my shop somewhere, get a t-shirt, bumper sticker- shout it out. Pefect is boring, its subjective and stressful. There's no where to go from perfect, 'cept down. Who needs it?
I love this post! I had braces, but I've never been to Italy! You made the right choice, girlfriend!
When I met you last summer Sherry, I don't really remember your teeth to be honest, guess I was focused on other things. I used to hide my mouth when I smiled for many years due to some very bad teeth problems, but I had no choice other than to fix mine as they crumbled and broke off in a sandwhich or something or other. I have to tell you though it now feels so good to be able to smile and not worry about my teeth anymore.
I have many imperfections if that is how we look at them, man, I am covered in moles and some are really ugly, I have scars all over my abdomen but who see's them anyway? I barely notice them myself anymore unless they itch.
Great post, gives one a lot to think about, we should just be ourselves, looking the way we are, unless it comes to a point that an imperfection really changes the quality of your life, then I don't think it would be vain to do something about it.
Have a great weekend :)
I think your own perception of your self image is totally different to what others see in yourself. Lynn said she did not remember your teeth - although i think she was nervous at your first meet up ;o) So that shows that some insecure imperfections what you think them to be are not recognised or really thought of by that person .
These things do shape who you are and what you have gone through , little body map reminders and it`s how you deal with them in your head , whether to make an issue out of them or to accept them as is .
I`ve never noticed your teeth in any photos - just that bubbly smile and laughing eyes !!
Time to celebrate and just be ourselves ! ?
Sherry Lee you are beautiful and special because of who you are ... imperfections and all.
Celebrate that.
Amen. We all have our scars, some external, some internal. Personally, they have become less and less important as I get older. Perfection is where I am right now. I think you made the right choice going to Italy too! Sounds like you were wise beyond your years.
Your blog made me smile because at age 42 I just had braces taken off, my check up was just before I found my lump! My teeth were getting worse and I couldn't eat comfortably anymore so I took the plunge (good old NHS). Because of my age, my teeth have worn badly and the plan was to have them made pretty but with the chemo I have put my plans on hold for another year. It can wait. I enjoy being able to eat normally, it is heaven! As a child, my mum offered to get my ears fixed because they stick out and I got teased alot and at the age of about 12 I stated that "this is how I am, everyone should like me how I am".
I have crooked front teeth too. Nothing terrible but noticable I suppose. I remember going to a dentist seveal years ago who, as he examined my teeth, said, "I can fix these you know." My reply was "fix what?" I've never really been bothered by the crookedness and at first really didn't know what he was talking about! We are all flawed in some way, like the flaws that the Amish women put into their quilts it makes us more authentic. Only God is perfect. The real test of a loving heart is loving someone flaws and all:>)
One of my front teeth overlaps the other. We never had money for braces and it used to bother me but not any more.
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