A dear friend of mine has been going through the ending of her marriage. It's been an emotional few years of ups and downs, of legal battling and negotiating...and then re-negotiating. For every few steps forward, it seems things would then take more steps back. Ending a relationship of many decades is difficult. To be faced with constant changes takes it's toll emotionally and even physically.
When do you say "enough"? When do you decide that there is something better? That being forced to continually "fight" for what is yours, for your dignity and your worth is not worth the toll it takes emotionally and spiritually? We know our worth. If we don't we need to work at that. Sometimes our dignity lies in saying "I will no longer be party to this." There is freedom in walking away and laying down the gauntlet.
I learned a great deal from my friend this weekend. I learned that there is victory in making a decision and taking matters into your own hands. That there is a sense of peace and strength in saying "no more". I learned that who we are is sometimes much more important than having to be someone else because we have been forced into that slot. Squeezing a square peg into a round hole will never work, no matter how much we push and shove.
I learned that any time in life, no matter what the situation, being able to make a decision that works in our own best interest adds strength to our spirit and our character. I give huge hugs and a brava to my friend. For all that she is always saying how much I inspire her....I can only tell her I've been graced with inspiration in her spirit and her conviction. I wish her peace and hope and happiness and the joy of her continued journey of freedom.
*image wall of peace - Moscow originally uploaded to flickr by Jeff Bauche January 2008
10 comments:
You so get it - I just couldn't do that square peg/round hole thing anymore. I wanted to be me again.
My thanks and love for helping me get here.
I so love and appreciate stories of women really being there for their women friends. What would we do without them ? So glad you both have one another, for inspiration, for support, for understanding and for pure girlfriend love !
You know, Sherry, you are sooo right. It is so much more empowering to make a decision, to take action; than to constantly have to react to someone else's actions. My best wishes to your friend; may her path be bordered with flowers. And may your path be peopled with friends!
Hugs
Renate
P.S. Sorry if you got this twice - I'm having a problem with my internet access (again)!
I feel grateful to have never had to travel that road, to have something that is so full of emotion to be turned into business deal of who is entitled to what as if all those years really meant nothing on a deeper level. Good for her for her strength to be where she is today and to know who she is and what she wants in the midst of others twisting of reality for their own gain. (if I interpreted what you were saying right)
I really liked the way your wrote that ... your words are very kind.
Great lessons to learn. Square pegs and round holes just don't go together. They just don't.
And the real winner is....not the other person in this legal battle who thinks he has won because (fill in the blank). Inspiration comes in the strangest guises sometimes.
I am definitely a triangle and couldn't fit in either of those holes...besides, from being on the couch for the last 4 weeks and eating too many sweets is making me get all squishy and podgy and no matter how hard you shoved, I wouldn't fit!
What a lovely soul you are for being there for your friend and I can certainly see how much you have inspired her with your abundant grace :)
Much Love,
LuLu~*xoxo
I`m so glad you Sherry have been there for a friend - when she really needed someone .A friend in need - is a friend indeed !
Having being through a divorce myself - and maybe not as long and complicated to finalise -
i realised that i was not in control of my life - he was - and
after many years of being controlled and his "conditioning"
i found strength - and i still wonder where i got it - i walked away leaving a home / friends , but in knowing for myself - i did the right thing and i never thought i made the wrong decision - it turned out to be the best decision i made to change my life - for the better !
So there is hope for your friend !
Good food for thought. Thank you.
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